Another 6 lbs lost this week!

At this rate I might just lose 5 stone by the end of the Foundation phase, which ends in only 4 weeks...

I'm noticing that I feel the cold much, much more now. I guess I'm losing my insulation, and at a fast rate as well, so it's taking my body time to catch up with the changes...

My biggest thrill recently was being able to get into a whole pile of clothes that I've held onto for about 6 years! I have a pinstripe trouser suit I bought in 2002/03 and haven't worn since. I was thrilled to get into it yesterday - and wore it today! Plus another (linen) suit from 1998/9, two dresses, several tops and a couple of skirts. No trousers (except pedal pushers for the summer) because I always wear them to rags. At this rate of weight loss I won't get much wear out of that linen suit. I hope the weather improves very soon!

It all feels a bit unreal as, even though I held onto those clothes, I seriously doubted I'd ever be able to wear them again. I now have a brand new (old) wardrobe! But, once past these sizes, I'm going to have to buy brand new - or from charity shops. And the great thing is, I will at last be able to get into clothes in charity shops - they don't usually have big enough sizes for me!

These past few weeks, we've been working on what Lighter Life calls "hot thoughts" and what I've previously known as "automatic negative thoughts". I have to confess that none of this is new to me, but it's still been interesting to look at it again. It's basically all about challenging these thoughts, working out if there's any basis in reality for them, and replacing them with more rational thinking.

This week we've been looking at the "drama triangle" of Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim. I first heard of this idea years ago from my therapist friend Kate, but the way it was applied today was new to me. The notion is all about recognising when you're in which role, and how to break out of it and act from your "adult" ego. Interesting stuff. We realised that within our own group, a lot of rescuing goes on! "Don't beat yourself up about your slip", etc!!

This past week I took part in some rescuing myself (as it was pointed out to me today!) and in a little bit of cheating (little being the operative word). Last weekend, grandson Jamie really wanted me to try his new rice crispies from Lidl. As he didn't seem to understand why I couldn't have any, I gave in and tasted only one! In this instance, I gave in - so that was me rescuing Jamie's feelings. Even though it was a conscious choice on my part, it was all about rescuing Jamie. Hmmm...!

I also liked that, instead of talking about "cheating" or whatever, our LL counsellor talked about how this food "wasn't part of my food programme."

I confess to another instance of eating/drinking something not in my food programme. My elderly friend Audrey died on 21 March and her funeral was yesterday. Afterwards, daughter Laurie and I went for a coffee at the Lochalsh Hotel, a favourite haunt, mainly (if not only!) because of the big squishy sofas and the view. I don't really like black tea or coffee (no milk on Lighter Life!) and realised I didn't have any peppermint teabags on me. I settled for an Earl Grey teabag from the botton of my handbag (I went through a very short phase of enjoying it black) and, having found I still really don't like it much at all, I ended up putting some milk in it. That was verrry nice. And that "slip" led to more when I decided to have some of Laurie's coffee and just have some milk with it too. Y-u-m! I must have drunk all of a couple of fluid ounces of milk, so I really don't feel too bad about it!

I've hit the 3 stone mark - and more!

My weigh in today said that I'd lost another 5.5 lbs - that's a total of 44.5 lbs or 3 stone 2.5 lbs!! Yippee!! I have actually already met my initial target!!

I got another photo taken tonight as I felt that last one wasn't quite showing the extent of the weight loss - and besides I'm now 11.5 lbs lighter than 2 weeks ago! Tonight's photo is much clearer, I think. Judge for yourselves!

27 January 2009 24 March 2009 - 3 stone 2.5 lbs lighter.
Less chin, no bum shelf(!), slimmer forearms, smaller tummy, smaller bust, cheekbones beginning to show, even my eyes look bigger! A total of 3" off my bustline, 6" off my waist and 6.5" off my hips.

And just in time for my 53rd birthday tomorrow!

Another 6 lbs lost

I'm just too busy at the moment to keep up with this blog properly but had to report the latest weight loss at least, while I wait for the boiled water for my CPAP machine to cool!

I've been very tired this week and am not at all sure why. I seem to have a couple of weeks up and then a week down, or at least that's been the pattern for the last month anyway. We'll see what happens next month!

Weight loss goes on, sometimes I get a bit fed up with it, but it's just a case of putting it to the back of my mind and getting busy doing something else and looking forward to the next food pack.

I've discovered "poppadums" made with the Thai Chilli soups and they're delicious! Unfortunately, the length of time they take to cook in the microwave can be a bit hit and miss depending on how much water you mix with them in the first place. The one I made tonight was a bit burned... It wasn't the first time I've had to eat a burnt one (though they're usually chicken soup ones...)!

I've also discovered chocolate shake "muffins", again cooked in the microwave. They're scrummy too but Thai Chilli "poppadums" are still my favourite for just now.

The weight loss really does keep up the motivation, I have to say, without it I might have wavered by now. Most of my co-Lighter Lifers have "cheated" at some point or other. I'm grateful that I have such a firm resolve about this and am watching the weight just falling off me.

I do notice quite a difference myself. Others have been commenting on it for a week or two but I'm now beginning to notice that my ankles are thinner, my face is different, my eyes are looking larger(!), my waist slimmer and a few days ago I looked down at my legs as I sat down and realised they look different. It's quite remarkable, really, but, for me at least, the quick weight loss is one of the strengths of the programme, especially when you have as much weight to lose as I do.

That's 2 stone 11 lbs / 39 lbs gone now. My scales read 19 stone 2 1/4 lbs on Tuesday so, hopefully, I'll be under 19 stone on my scales by next week. 18 stone something will feel very good, as it's a long time since I've been there!

Oh and here's the before and "after" pics I've been promising for a while.

Before starting on the Lighter Life programme:After 6 weeks and 33 lbs lost:

I've lost the "shelf" from the top of my bum. I can feel that myself, let alone need to see it in a photo. I'm sure my next pic will be even more dramatic!

I'm way behind with the news...

but suffice to say, for just now (as I don't have time tonight to write) that I've now lost a total of 33 lbs altogether - 5.5 last week and 3 this week - that's 2 stone 5 lbs. :-D

What seems to mean more to me is that my own bathroom scales say I'm now 19 stone 10 lbs (on Tuesday 10th, that is!). I'm sooo pleased to be under 20 stone again. Lots of very positive comments from lots of people about how I'm looking different. But no time just now to write about it...!

New fundraising page

I completely forgot to say that I've created a new page HERE where you can click the buttons to donate or sponsor me. There was some confusion about how to contribute, so I've tried to make it simpler and show that there are, in fact, seven different way to help me raise money. =:-o

If you haven't already -

PLEASE SPONSOR ME!

2.5 lbs lost this week

Only 2.5 lbs. I have to confess to feeling a bit disappointed. BUT I think I might have found the culprit...

Lighter Lifers have devised "real food-like" recipes for the food packs - "chocolate", "muffins" and, my favourite, "poppadoms". Mix the chicken soup into a paste or baby food consistency, spread it on a plate or on greaseproof paper and cook in the microwave for several minutes. My first two experiments stuck to the plate, so that I had to chip them off and even lick up the crumbs. I might as well have eaten it straight from the packet! The third stuck to the greaseproof paper, adding a little bit extra to my diet (you didn't expect me to leave it, did you?!).

So, the week before last, I oiled the plate... And last week I did the same twice over... SO that little bit of extra calories just might be making a difference to my weight loss. So, after the weigh-in on Tuesday, I went to Tesco in Dingwall and bought some baking paper (already greased and virtually non-stick)! It worked like a treat tonight - and no extra calories.

My friend wasn't able to make it to this week's session, so I travelled alone. I have to confess to feeling really really really tired afterwards... After feeling great a fortnight ago, I've been really tired this past week or so... :-(

We were measured this week too. I appear to have lost only 1 cm on my top, 3 cm on my waist and 3 cm on my hips. I'm a bit surprised, as I'm very aware of how much smaller I feel and just how baggy my clothes have become. So... I'm going to take my own measurements too from now on. And when I can get some batteries for my scales, I'm going to compare the weight loss on them too...!

The highlight of this week was the introduction of a new food pack - porridge! I've tasted it and it isn't really like porridge at all, more like a very runny semolina. But tasty enough and a welcome variation on the food packs.

This week was more on Transactional Analysis and Eric Bernes' recognition of different ways in which we spend our time:

• Withdrawal - either physically or mentally.
• Ritual - from a simple handshake or "How are you?" to weddings and funerals. Pointedly, mealtimes can also be a ritual.
• Pass-timing - inconsequential chit chat, cups of tea with friends, gossip.
• Activities - task orientated activities like work, etc.
• Intimacy - about being genuine, not just about physical or emotional intimacy. Being "real".

All of these can be negative as well as positive: hiding away; over-indulgence; avoiding being alone; over working / under working; too much or too little intimacy. And we were asked to recognise the association of food with all of them too: hiding food and eating in secret; the excess food associated with big parties and ceremonies; the cream cakes along with the cups of tea; getting too tired or too bored and this leading to eating; using food to make up for loneliness or even to avoid intimacy.

We were asked to look at how much of our day is spent on each of these activities. It made me realise that I fill my time with activities, particularly since being on this programme. Now I don't need to take time to cook or even to eat (it doesn't take long to get through any of the packs!), I have more time on my hands. I enjoy having this extra time but I also use it to "do" something else!

I'm not very happy at the thought that I fill so much of my time with activity. It's very unbalanced and I realised I have to look at this and do something about it.

Our next exercise was about "strokes", positive and negative, a means of getting recognition, and that how we spend our time is all about getting or avoiding strokes. Hm...

We had to do an exercise in which we loosely measured how easily we gave positive and negative strokes and how often, to others and to ourselves. Of course, most of us give ourselves negative strokes a lot of the time, with our internal critical voices! And when we're starved of positive strokes, we can end up accepting, looking for or even asking for negative ones. Like a child needing attention, anything is better than being ignored.

Of course we can see eating as a type of positive self-stroke (with negative consequences). And how it can be an indication of a lack of strokes (recognition) in other areas in our lives. All fairly obvious, really, but a different way of looking at it.

I felt very tired in the group and came away not on the Cloud Nine that I have in previous weeks. I actually felt quite troubled about how I use my time. And more, how to change it! Plus the fact that I have a lot going on at the moment: two Gaelic classes a week; 16 hours work at Rag Tag; most weeks recently and over the next month, I've also got hours at the library on top of RTT; the travelling through for the LL sessions (which do really tire me out, even when I'm not driving), and our Skye Bridge knitting project. Not to mention dog walking, keeping this blog and the Facebook page updated, working on the NADA magazine over the next couple of weeks and trying to find time to knit! Hmm... Something's out of balance...!

I think this is also about coming out of the honeymoon period of the programme and moving into the straight (mixed metaphors, I know!). The dramatic weight loss period is over and it's now steady as she goes...! I'm in it for the long haul too (if I can afford it), so the straight is a bit longer for me than for the others. The novelty of the food packs is beginning to wear off and sometimes, mainly when I'm tired, I just want to eat - anything, not something in particular, just anything. I won't, I'm sure, I just can't afford to. I'm finding it a lot easier to get around but I still have times where I'm really uncomfortable, stiff and sore, so cheating isn't really an option for me. I confess to a Diet Coke after a short Tesco shop after the LL session, I was much in need of some caffeine before driving home. It's zero calories but I'm not sure about the carbs...

One of the biggest lessons of this week, I think, was realising how we accept positive strokes from others. When folk have mentioned how I look different or congratulated me on my weight loss and progress, I've almost always said, "I've got a long way to go". We were told to try and accept the compliments and not attempt to balance them with negatives. Well, I failed with that today- again - but then quickly explained and turned it round by saying:

"Yes, it is great [24.5 lbs in 4 weeks is pretty blooming good!], I am doing well, amn't I?!"

Another 4 lbs bite the dust

Yep, that's a total of 22 lbs now. Just 1 lb over 1 1/2 stones. Amazing... I actually managed to pull my trousers down today without undoing the zip!! They were always a little big round the waist but I couldn't have done that a few weeks ago. While I know the quick weight loss is a bit scary, it's also really encouraging and gives me, at least, the impetus to keep going. It's slowing down now, as predicted, but I still feel an ongoing loss even though it's actually less.

Tuesday's session was really just more on Transactional Analysis and the different "ego states" and how they break down:
Critical Parent
Nurturing Parent
Adult (no breakdown?)
Adaptive Child
Rebellious Child (that's me!)
Free Child

It's all interesting stuff and easily identifiable. It's all about listening to those voices in your head, identifying them and choosing how you react. Oh and all the states are useful - you don't need to strive to be in your adult all the time, even the rebellious child ("Neh neh ne neh neh - I'm going to show them who can lose weight!") can be useful at times!

Some of our group had actually put on weight this week because they'd broken the diet and eaten some real food! It was a lesson for all of us and made me all the more determined to resist temptation. It's not always easy and, on Thursday night, I was very tired and really could have murdered some food - not anything in particular - just FOOD. I didn't have my bar to look forward to because I'd had to have it at lunchtime for convenience, and that made it a bit tougher. However a late evening chocolate shake made with hot peppermint tea was lovely!

My hunger is much much less but I can't say I'm never hungry... Pity!

I had my blood pressure taken this week - actually a week too soon, I got mixed up - and it was fine. But it always is, I've never had a problem with it.

Next week we get measured for the first time since starting on the diet. I'm looking forward to that - it'll be really interesting to see how I'm shrinking! I can see it in the mirror and keep meaning to take another photo to compare - our counsellor encouraged us to do so. And those trousers being easily pulled down(!) shows several inches have gone. Yippee!!

Oh oh oh - and next week a new food pack - PORRIDGE - will be available!! Hot brekkers (or supper)!

Giving thanks

Well, peeps, I want to give thanks tonight for my improved fitness, the increase in energy, the decrease in aches and pains and stiffness, the weight loss (of course), and the fact that I can be busy and it doesn't fry my brain. I've just come back from a bracing walk in the drizzle with my dogs after a full 8 hour day at work and I am feeling good! I'm looking forward to chilling out after what's been a very busy week. I've been on the go all day every day since Tuesday, including giving an interview on BBC Radio Scotland to promote a project I'm involved in getting off the ground:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/highlands_and_islands/7894474.stm
(please note it's not an AOS project - that's an editorial error). The interview was broadcast (in a highly edited version, of course!) around 1 pm on Tuesday and I missed it - and it's not available on BBC iPlayer. Grrr! The project will be launched in about a fortnight.
So after more or less working a full-time week, it's even more remarkable that I feel good right now. I'm not saying I don't get tired nor that I feel 100% well again but I do feel good. And very grateful.
So I want to give thanks to God for that.
More about this week's progress later this evening.

Donations for the 2nd stage of Lighter Life...

...have been coming in already!! Today the figure leapt to £120. Several people have said they want to sponsor me, ie help me lose weight, rather than the charities. I'm gobsmacked and really touched. I don't know quite what to say...