Thursday, 25 June 2009
I'm wondering...
if I should swap over to the Diet Chef... My sister has just started on it and it sounds rather good. More importantly - and the main reason for me thinking about it - is that it's fairly cheap and just a bit more than half the price of Lighter Life + petrol. I've run out of funds for the programme now, and am loathe to email and ask everyone for more... I thought I'd be earning a bit more by now but I'm not and my utility bills have rocketed... Hmmm... Still wondering... Any opinions or thoughts welcome!
Oops...!
I have actually put on 1.5 lbs this week. *sigh* I'm not surprised. I had a massive blip but have decided to no longer air my blips in public as it's just too bloomin embarrassing!! I knew I'd probably put on something, I'm just grateful it's so little.
I can only say my intention is to stick to the programme and get back on the wagon - picking myself up, dusting myself off and starting all over again. One day at a time...
I can only say my intention is to stick to the programme and get back on the wagon - picking myself up, dusting myself off and starting all over again. One day at a time...
Saturday, 20 June 2009
Phew!
My weight loss was 3 1/2 lbs this week, thankfully! Sometimes I do wonder about the difference between my scales and theirs and the fact that I weigh myself first thing in the morning, with no clothes, while we get weighed at LL in the mid-afternoon, fully clothed. Anyway, it's Mary's scales I'm going by so... I was very relieved to see some weight coming off. I had got completely mixed up though, and thought I was already only 1lb short of 6 stone off last week (the time before that loss of 7.5 over 2 weeks, I thought it was 5 st 5 lbs, but it was actually 5 st 3lbs). But this new weight loss makes it bang on 6 stones gone. It really is fantastic. Quite amazing, really, to be 6 stones lighter... Did I really believe, when I started this in January, that I'd be 6 stone lighter by the end of June? I don't think so!
The cravings haven't stopped though, and that weight loss was in spite of two afternoons of snacking on biscuits, of all things, over the past week! Since then I've had one day where I just gave up on resisting the cravings, ate a fraction of what I would have eaten in the past, thoroughly enjoyed it and am feeling well committed to the programme again. Perhaps that's what I needed... I don't know. Certainly there doesn't seem to be much reasoning with me (by myself, that is!) when I'm in the middle of feeling desperate to eat something... *sigh*
I think part of the battle is that I don't feel too bad as I am now at this present weight, but, with this current renewed commitment (which I hope will last!), I know I really do want to get the rest of the weight off. I'm discovering changes in my shape that are very encouraging. I even managed to pull in my abdomen so it looked vertical today!! ;-) I still have my old shape and I guess that'll never change, it's how I'm made after all - classic pear shape. It makes clothes-fitting a bit difficult though, especially for longer tops, jackets and coats, being one or two sizes bigger on the bottom than on the top. I only know that the smaller I get, the less of a difference between the two there will be. This unflattering (and blurry) photo shows precisely what I mean!
Onward and upward!
To redress the balance, here's a nicer photo of me, along with my friend Fiona at the UK Ravelry Day on 6 June, staffing the stall for our project, Stitches on the Bridge. (There's a photo of a fatter me holding one end of the Caledonia scarf on the wall behind!)
Oh and there's a reduction in measurements too, to be reported. To date, I've lost 6 1/2 inches on my bust, 10 inches on my waist and 11 inches on my hips! That's something to smile about!
The cravings haven't stopped though, and that weight loss was in spite of two afternoons of snacking on biscuits, of all things, over the past week! Since then I've had one day where I just gave up on resisting the cravings, ate a fraction of what I would have eaten in the past, thoroughly enjoyed it and am feeling well committed to the programme again. Perhaps that's what I needed... I don't know. Certainly there doesn't seem to be much reasoning with me (by myself, that is!) when I'm in the middle of feeling desperate to eat something... *sigh*
I think part of the battle is that I don't feel too bad as I am now at this present weight, but, with this current renewed commitment (which I hope will last!), I know I really do want to get the rest of the weight off. I'm discovering changes in my shape that are very encouraging. I even managed to pull in my abdomen so it looked vertical today!! ;-) I still have my old shape and I guess that'll never change, it's how I'm made after all - classic pear shape. It makes clothes-fitting a bit difficult though, especially for longer tops, jackets and coats, being one or two sizes bigger on the bottom than on the top. I only know that the smaller I get, the less of a difference between the two there will be. This unflattering (and blurry) photo shows precisely what I mean!
Onward and upward!To redress the balance, here's a nicer photo of me, along with my friend Fiona at the UK Ravelry Day on 6 June, staffing the stall for our project, Stitches on the Bridge. (There's a photo of a fatter me holding one end of the Caledonia scarf on the wall behind!)
Oh and there's a reduction in measurements too, to be reported. To date, I've lost 6 1/2 inches on my bust, 10 inches on my waist and 11 inches on my hips! That's something to smile about!
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Oh dear...
I lost absolutely nothing this week... In spite of my own scales showing 2 lbs loss, Mary's showed only a few grams!! Eeek.
This should be the kick up the bahooki that I need - I hope. I'm still struggling with cravings for food, it's very difficult. Trying to work out why isn't easy. There are several different factors that might be influencing me, but some too personal to go into here.
Since our "milk week", I've carried on having milk in my tea and coffee and that might not be helping. It also means I'm consuming more caffeine and that can affect weight loss and cravings... So I'm going to try to get off it. I don't feel too hopeful about it at the moment.
My abstinence from earlier in the week lasted only til day 3... though I've had nothing other than food packs since.
How to get back into the successful mindset I do not know... I guess I just have to "walk the walk"! One of our counsellors tips was to list all the things that the weight loss goal means to us, the things that we want to do when we've reached it, how it'll affect our lives, etc. And to keep going back to it to remind ourselves. So I might just do that here soon.
This should be the kick up the bahooki that I need - I hope. I'm still struggling with cravings for food, it's very difficult. Trying to work out why isn't easy. There are several different factors that might be influencing me, but some too personal to go into here.
Since our "milk week", I've carried on having milk in my tea and coffee and that might not be helping. It also means I'm consuming more caffeine and that can affect weight loss and cravings... So I'm going to try to get off it. I don't feel too hopeful about it at the moment.
My abstinence from earlier in the week lasted only til day 3... though I've had nothing other than food packs since.
How to get back into the successful mindset I do not know... I guess I just have to "walk the walk"! One of our counsellors tips was to list all the things that the weight loss goal means to us, the things that we want to do when we've reached it, how it'll affect our lives, etc. And to keep going back to it to remind ourselves. So I might just do that here soon.
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Over halfway now!
I was able to make it for a weigh in after all this last Thursday, on my way to the airport to fly to Coventry. I had to pop in for my food packs and Mary had time to weigh me. I'd lost 7.5 lbs over the previous 2 weeks, which means I'm now over halfway to my goal! :-) I expect the rest to come off more slowly than the first half but am hoping I'll be down to my goal weight by Christmas at the latest.
I had a fantastic few days in Coventry, staying with the organiser of UK Ravelry Day and staffing a stall for Stitches on the Bridge. The overall flavour of the event was not at all unlike big belly dance events I've been to and/or organised myself - a huge number of women with a passion and all the extremes of opinions and feelings that go with it! The hero-worship of the knitting gurus was very familiar to the adoration of the belly dance stars too! It was a very interesting and eye-opening experience altogether! And I don't deny that I got a little caught up in the fandom, though I like to think I'm a bit older, wiser and less impressionable than I was when I was immersed in the belly dance scene... All that said I was very taken with the unassuming charm of Jared Flood and Meg Swansen. I also had my first exposure to the utter delight of a live-on-dvd Elizabeth Zimmerman, the now-deceased mother of Meg Swansen. What a joy! I'm now a big fan of all 3 of them. Ruth aka Woolly Wormhead was also very nice and fun to meet and share a meal with. Jo, the organiser, and her husband Doug were great hosts and really made us feel at home, along with Doug's mum, Christina, and their young children, Robbie, 6, and Zoe, 4. All very off topic for this blog but well worth a mention!
One reason I mention it all is to confess yet again to succumbing to the craving to eat! I had found myself thinking about steak pies last week, and then found myself in a pub restaurant selling just that on Friday in Coventry...! In fact the steak pie in question had the addition of stilton cheese which just made it far too irresistible... I admit it really was delicious and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The downside was that I really struggled not to eat for the rest of the day - and failed. I also felt physically uncomfortable, too full. My stomach has shrunk and no longer has the capacity for a full meal. Clearly the slow introduction to real food over the 12 weeks of the Road to Management programme is there for a reason. It was "interesting" (I guess!) to note just how much more difficult it got to resist the craving to eat as the day went on. I was prowling the kitchen in the late evening, desperate to eat something delicious before the self-imposed deadline of a new day prevented me having anything else. It was not good, not comfortable and not healthy.
As a result, as I sat on the return journey plane yesterday, I resolved to aim for 100 days of "abstinence", following the example of the twelve steps, which aims for 90 days. I'm only too aware that I've been sponsored to do this, not to mention that the longer it takes me to reach my goal, the more it's going to cost me and those who are supporting me with the programme costs. My weight loss will slow down as it is, so I can't expect to lose the second half in as short a time anyway. I don't want to go on not being able to eat normal food for any longer than I need to, so the quicker the weight comes off the better.
So my mindset, when faced with food I'd really like to taste (like the many delicious looking home-made cakes at yesterday's UK Ravelry Day!), is back to "This time next year".
On the positive side, here's a wee list of things I'm very happy about:
- I can fit into airline and train seats with no problem at all and perhaps even a little leeway! Last time I flew (in 2007), I had to have an extension to the seatbelt.
- I can just about walk down the isle of the plane and the train without having to move sideways. Emphasis on just about!
- When sitting, I no longer have a big tummy to rest my hands on and can very comfortably sit with my hands in my lap.
- I no longer have to embarrassingly hide a large cleavage when I bend over.
- I can feel all sorts of bone under my skin that I forgot I had!
- I can wear an amethyst bracelet which was a self-chosen present from Laurie in 2003 and to which I used to have to add an extension.
- Today my scales showed 16 stone 6 1/2 lbs.
- The plantar fasciitis in my right foot is a lot less painful than it used to be - a LOT less!
- I can now comfortably cross my legs (how many of you realised that fat people have a problem with that, I wonder).
- Although I'm still quite big, I no longer feel like a fat person!
I had a fantastic few days in Coventry, staying with the organiser of UK Ravelry Day and staffing a stall for Stitches on the Bridge. The overall flavour of the event was not at all unlike big belly dance events I've been to and/or organised myself - a huge number of women with a passion and all the extremes of opinions and feelings that go with it! The hero-worship of the knitting gurus was very familiar to the adoration of the belly dance stars too! It was a very interesting and eye-opening experience altogether! And I don't deny that I got a little caught up in the fandom, though I like to think I'm a bit older, wiser and less impressionable than I was when I was immersed in the belly dance scene... All that said I was very taken with the unassuming charm of Jared Flood and Meg Swansen. I also had my first exposure to the utter delight of a live-on-dvd Elizabeth Zimmerman, the now-deceased mother of Meg Swansen. What a joy! I'm now a big fan of all 3 of them. Ruth aka Woolly Wormhead was also very nice and fun to meet and share a meal with. Jo, the organiser, and her husband Doug were great hosts and really made us feel at home, along with Doug's mum, Christina, and their young children, Robbie, 6, and Zoe, 4. All very off topic for this blog but well worth a mention!
One reason I mention it all is to confess yet again to succumbing to the craving to eat! I had found myself thinking about steak pies last week, and then found myself in a pub restaurant selling just that on Friday in Coventry...! In fact the steak pie in question had the addition of stilton cheese which just made it far too irresistible... I admit it really was delicious and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
The downside was that I really struggled not to eat for the rest of the day - and failed. I also felt physically uncomfortable, too full. My stomach has shrunk and no longer has the capacity for a full meal. Clearly the slow introduction to real food over the 12 weeks of the Road to Management programme is there for a reason. It was "interesting" (I guess!) to note just how much more difficult it got to resist the craving to eat as the day went on. I was prowling the kitchen in the late evening, desperate to eat something delicious before the self-imposed deadline of a new day prevented me having anything else. It was not good, not comfortable and not healthy.
As a result, as I sat on the return journey plane yesterday, I resolved to aim for 100 days of "abstinence", following the example of the twelve steps, which aims for 90 days. I'm only too aware that I've been sponsored to do this, not to mention that the longer it takes me to reach my goal, the more it's going to cost me and those who are supporting me with the programme costs. My weight loss will slow down as it is, so I can't expect to lose the second half in as short a time anyway. I don't want to go on not being able to eat normal food for any longer than I need to, so the quicker the weight comes off the better.
So my mindset, when faced with food I'd really like to taste (like the many delicious looking home-made cakes at yesterday's UK Ravelry Day!), is back to "This time next year".
On the positive side, here's a wee list of things I'm very happy about:
- I can fit into airline and train seats with no problem at all and perhaps even a little leeway! Last time I flew (in 2007), I had to have an extension to the seatbelt.
- I can just about walk down the isle of the plane and the train without having to move sideways. Emphasis on just about!
- When sitting, I no longer have a big tummy to rest my hands on and can very comfortably sit with my hands in my lap.
- I no longer have to embarrassingly hide a large cleavage when I bend over.
- I can feel all sorts of bone under my skin that I forgot I had!
- I can wear an amethyst bracelet which was a self-chosen present from Laurie in 2003 and to which I used to have to add an extension.
- Today my scales showed 16 stone 6 1/2 lbs.
- The plantar fasciitis in my right foot is a lot less painful than it used to be - a LOT less!
- I can now comfortably cross my legs (how many of you realised that fat people have a problem with that, I wonder).
- Although I'm still quite big, I no longer feel like a fat person!
Saturday, 30 May 2009
A note...
... to anyone who does follow this blog(!) that I wasn't able to go to the Lighter Life meeting this week (away in Thurso for work) and will be away for next week's meeting too (in Coventry for UK Ravelry Day with Stitches on the Bridge), so I'll miss two weigh-ins. My next weigh-in will show 3 weeks weight loss, which should be interesting!
Yesterday I was YummyMummyFaerie at Rag Tag n Textile's Faerie Homecoming:
Yesterday I was YummyMummyFaerie at Rag Tag n Textile's Faerie Homecoming:
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Musselburgh dancers top up to £1,000!!
Thanks to Elspeth Alexandra and her Musselburgh dance students, my projected raised figure has just topped £1000!!
A huge
THANK YOU
to all of you for supporting me! I am really touched...
Sunday, 24 May 2009
Almost halfway!
I've finally updated my weight loss and funds raised figures. It's great to see that I'm almost halfway to my target!! Who knows, I might not go quite so far as 11 stone, as that is based on what I weigh at the LL sessions, not on what I weigh on my scales...
The week before last, I lost 3 lbs; this past week I lost 2.5 lbs. That's 5 st 3 lbs now. :-D
What I haven't written about is the shopping trip I made the week before last. I had some vouchers to spend in the Arcadia group of shops - Wallis, Dorothy Perkins, Top Shop, Evans. The vouchers were earned doing consumer research and I chose Arcadia because I'm so used to shopping in Evans. Before the trip, I measured myself and realised I was now somewhere in the region of size 20-22 on the top, and size 24-26 on the bottom. I was amazed to discover that Wallis and Dorothy Perkins both cater for larger sizes. I had no idea so many shops now do bigger sizes. I even found out that Matalan and Marks & Spencer (two ends of the spectrum!) do too!
As a result I shopped in Outfit in Inverness, which has sections of Wallis, DP and Top Shop in it, and in Evans. And I was thrilled to bits to discover that I can actually get into size 18s!!! All the tops I bought that day (I didn't manage to get any trousers) were size 18s. Evans size 18 is more generous than Wallis, to be sure, but I still got two lovely cardis from the latter. There was a 20% sale on all goods that day, so my money went a little further! Gosh I was chuffed. It took me hours, though, to decide!!
Even better was being able to get into a couple of lovely size 18 tops in Next! Only to discover that my vouchers didn't cover Next...!! Oops!
On the down side, I've been finding it very difficult to resist cravings for real food and have succumbed a couple of times recently. I have still lost weight though and, in some ways, that doesn't help. If I didn't lose weight when I lapse then it might drive it home a bit better that it's not a good choice to be making. It definitely makes it harder to stick to the food packs whenever I eat. And I'm aware the cravings can be aggravated most of all by tiredness, or when I feel fed up. I have to say that I think now is the time I'm going to be learning most about my food addiction, as I try to resist the desire to eat...
The week before last, I lost 3 lbs; this past week I lost 2.5 lbs. That's 5 st 3 lbs now. :-D
What I haven't written about is the shopping trip I made the week before last. I had some vouchers to spend in the Arcadia group of shops - Wallis, Dorothy Perkins, Top Shop, Evans. The vouchers were earned doing consumer research and I chose Arcadia because I'm so used to shopping in Evans. Before the trip, I measured myself and realised I was now somewhere in the region of size 20-22 on the top, and size 24-26 on the bottom. I was amazed to discover that Wallis and Dorothy Perkins both cater for larger sizes. I had no idea so many shops now do bigger sizes. I even found out that Matalan and Marks & Spencer (two ends of the spectrum!) do too!
As a result I shopped in Outfit in Inverness, which has sections of Wallis, DP and Top Shop in it, and in Evans. And I was thrilled to bits to discover that I can actually get into size 18s!!! All the tops I bought that day (I didn't manage to get any trousers) were size 18s. Evans size 18 is more generous than Wallis, to be sure, but I still got two lovely cardis from the latter. There was a 20% sale on all goods that day, so my money went a little further! Gosh I was chuffed. It took me hours, though, to decide!!
Even better was being able to get into a couple of lovely size 18 tops in Next! Only to discover that my vouchers didn't cover Next...!! Oops!
On the down side, I've been finding it very difficult to resist cravings for real food and have succumbed a couple of times recently. I have still lost weight though and, in some ways, that doesn't help. If I didn't lose weight when I lapse then it might drive it home a bit better that it's not a good choice to be making. It definitely makes it harder to stick to the food packs whenever I eat. And I'm aware the cravings can be aggravated most of all by tiredness, or when I feel fed up. I have to say that I think now is the time I'm going to be learning most about my food addiction, as I try to resist the desire to eat...
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Projected sponsorship updated
I've updated the sponsorship projection to include losing up to 11 stone, rather than stick with the 3 stone ceiling, which I'm now well past. £946 looks a lot better!
I may not have raised £2000 by April but perhaps there's still a chance I might raise £2000 by the end of this year (if I lose all 11 stone, which I fully intend to do!).
Some of the sponsors have put a limit on how much they want to sponsor me for, which explains why the projected figure is not just a simple multiplication of the sponsorship per stone figure x 11 stone.
Confused? You will be...! You'll have to trust me!
I may not have raised £2000 by April but perhaps there's still a chance I might raise £2000 by the end of this year (if I lose all 11 stone, which I fully intend to do!).
Some of the sponsors have put a limit on how much they want to sponsor me for, which explains why the projected figure is not just a simple multiplication of the sponsorship per stone figure x 11 stone.
Confused? You will be...! You'll have to trust me!
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Another 7 lbs lost this week...
...I can't quite believe it. I really got a shock when she told me... I knew I'd lost something as my trousers are so much bigger and even one of my group said she noticed a difference since she last saw me 9 days ago. It did feel as if I'm going through another "weight falling off me" phase. I thought I'd be happy if it was 3 lbs, chuffed to bits if it was 5 lbs, but I honestly did not expect it to be 7!
Today was the first week of Development and 5 of us joined an already established group 9 weeks into Development, who've all been together through Foundation (I assume). There were around 8 others in the room with us, so it took the best part of an hour for us all to be weighed. It was quite strange, to be honest, to be with others. They're a much vocal group than we were, especially during the exercises. Perhaps we'd have all got to that stage in another 9 weeks but we all seem to be a bit hesitant!
Our counsellor worked with us on problem solving tonight. It seems that Development will be more of the same; there doesn't seem to be a new book to take us through it, but we did notice that the already established Developers had a large orange spiral bound book with "scrapbook" on it. There was no mention of us being given one and none of us remembered to ask!
I also forgot to ask our counsellor to take my end of Foundation photos, which were taken the week I was in the Uists. She needs an "official" record for her files, I think. I'll remind her next week, it completely went out my head with the surprise of how much weight I've lost!
I think that's all I've got to report... I had another slip on Monday - or, to rephrase that, I chose to eat, mainly out of just feeling pretty rubbish at the time. Tiredness is definitely my Achilles Heel, which is unfortunate for someone recovering from ME...! But I still lost 7 lbs... Blimey!
Today was the first week of Development and 5 of us joined an already established group 9 weeks into Development, who've all been together through Foundation (I assume). There were around 8 others in the room with us, so it took the best part of an hour for us all to be weighed. It was quite strange, to be honest, to be with others. They're a much vocal group than we were, especially during the exercises. Perhaps we'd have all got to that stage in another 9 weeks but we all seem to be a bit hesitant!
Our counsellor worked with us on problem solving tonight. It seems that Development will be more of the same; there doesn't seem to be a new book to take us through it, but we did notice that the already established Developers had a large orange spiral bound book with "scrapbook" on it. There was no mention of us being given one and none of us remembered to ask!
I also forgot to ask our counsellor to take my end of Foundation photos, which were taken the week I was in the Uists. She needs an "official" record for her files, I think. I'll remind her next week, it completely went out my head with the surprise of how much weight I've lost!
I think that's all I've got to report... I had another slip on Monday - or, to rephrase that, I chose to eat, mainly out of just feeling pretty rubbish at the time. Tiredness is definitely my Achilles Heel, which is unfortunate for someone recovering from ME...! But I still lost 7 lbs... Blimey!
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