Loss and change

I have surprisingly lost 3 lbs this past week. Those of you who were with me at Mary's 50th birthday party on Saturday will know why I say "surprisingly"! There was an enormous buffet, of which I partook with gusto!

I even went back for more and realised I didn't fancy anything... That seems to have been a kind of watershed for me, that the obsession / craving can be more in my head than on the plate. Still, I recognised how much mental energy I was putting into the idea of the food in the room most of the night, whether craving it or trying to resist it.

I've been very unwell since, having huge problems sleeping before the wee small hours - the result of "overdoing it" and the increased adrenalin to keep going on Saturday night. I also have a lot of stressful stuff going on in the background (mainly about finances now that I'm back on benefits) which has stopped me stilling my mind last thing at night.

I also realised that I am going to have to cut back on the money I've been spending on the Cambridge Diet and so I've gone back to real food. Well, I say "real food" but really I'm eating a combination of food packs and the food I've had in the freezer. Call me changeable if you like! but I actually felt that my body was needing more sustainance.

Because I'm feeling so unwell at the moment (ME symptoms), I've decided to give the weight loss a miss for just now until I feel more able to cope with it. My motivation, which was very strong a week ago, has gone out the window. My intention is to eat cheaply for health and forget about losing weight, until I feel more able to cope with it and/or have more income. It's become just one more stress that I have to deal with and I'm trying to rid myself of those and chill out more.

So it's not over yet (the fat lady ain't sung yet!) but it's all on hold, at least til after Christmas.