Gains and losses

Everyone's been raving about this photo on Facebook so, as it shows my weightloss, I guess it should go up here. It was taken during a family reunion weekend with my sister and brother and families when they all came up to Lochalsh to visit. This particular photo was taken at the viewpoint above the Bealach na Bà, where it was very windy!I registered for Route (not Road) to Management over a week ago but, as I'd eaten all the previous weekend, I decided to stay on the packs for a few more days. Then our family reunion included a big meal out on Friday so I joined in with that, and ended up eating for most of the weekend too! So I didn't start RtM properly until Monday 27 July - exactly 6 months to the date from when I started LL.

While I was away (and eating!) the weekend before, my car had broken down and I had to have it repaired (cheaper via my roadside recovery) so have been left a little short of cash. This has meant I've not been able to go through to Tore to pick up more packs this week. I have a few spare from when I've eaten "illegitimately" and had enough cash (leaving 1p in my purse!) to buy the food I need for the one-meal-a-day regime this week (more on that later). But it was only last night that I realised I don't actually have enough packs - and now don't have any cash for food until I get paid on Friday!! I'll go begging to Donna to see if she has any spares or to Laurie for appropriate food to take the place of the packs! Ho hum. [Addendum: Donna does have enough packs to see me through to next Monday, so I'll have to pay for 2 weeks packs next week.] To add to all that, I'm ill with a throat lurgy that's leaving me croaky and feeling rotten... Maybe just as well as it's when I'm feeling ill and sorry for myself that I'm most tempted to eat.

On the subject of eating, this week started with two days of 3 packs + one protein meal and then continues tonight with protein and some salad. Yippee! I had turkey breast on Monday and a salmon steak last night; tonight will be another salmon steak with salad and lemon juice. It's odd, really, that these meals still feel kind of special, given that I had two very lovely meals out with my family over the weekend! I guess it's because they're legit! It's now that I wish I'd had the fortitude to just stay on the packs all this time and not eat outside the plan as I have been doing for the past 12 weeks or so. It must be pretty incredible to eat food again for the first time in many many months. Still, my weight loss has still been phenomenal and is continuing anyway, as the added protein won't knock me out of ketosis and I'll continue fat burning in the meantime. I gained a few pounds over the weekend and have lost them again and more with being back on the packs (+ "real" protein) for the past 2 days.

This is a synopsis of the RtM programme:

Week 1 - 3 packs, one protein meal (from a restricted list of mainly poultry and fish) along with salad (after the first 2 days), various condiments, and skimmed milk for tea or coffee.

Week 2 - 3 packs, one meal + snacks, introducing raw vegetables, low-fat sugar-free dairy products, low-calorie and diet drinks.

Week 3 - 2 packs, one meal + snacks, introducing tomatoes and low GI fruits, more protein choices (red meat).

Week 4 - 2 packs, one meal + snacks, introducing more vegetables and can cook fruit and veg, if desired.

Week 5 - 2 packs, 2 meals + snacks, introducing alcohol and starchy veg.

Week 6 - 2 packs, 2 meals + snacks, introducing more fruit choices, including higher GI and dried fruit, nuts and seeds for cooking only, Marmite (yum!).

Week 7 - 2 packs, 2 meals + snacks, introducing pulses and beans.

Week 8 - The start of trigger weeks! 2 packs, 2 meals + snacks, introducing starchy staples like rice, pasta, potatoes.

Week 9 - 1 pack, 3 meals + snacks, introducing grains like breakfast cereals and oats.

Week 10 - 1 pack, 3 meals + snacks, introducing cheese.

Week 11 - 1 pack, 3 meals + snacks, introducing bread.

Week 12 - 1 pack, 3 meals + snacks, introducing snacks like chocolate, sweets, jam, crisps, nuts.

Here's hoping I can afford to keep going and get to week 12!

A decision has been made

Next week I will start on Road to Management. I've decided to do this so that I don't get to a point where I completely run out of money and can't afford to take part in Lighter Life anymore and am left struggling with the transition from food packs to real food.

RtM is a graded programme of reintroducing real food. Next week I will be introducing protein and having only 3 packs a day (instead of the current 4). Food groups are reintroduced gradually over 12 weeks, with the idea of recognising what are the trigger foods which make you want to overeat. I feel this is a really important part of the programme and I really want to do this part thoroughly.

Once I'm through the 12 weeks, I can continue on a few packs a day if I want to and I reckon that's what I'll do, as long as I feel it's effective and that the trips through to the Black Isle are not costing me too much. I'm very nearly at the end of my gifted funds, so will be having to meet the cost of this myself within a few weeks. I hope I can manage it ok. Including the cost of the petrol to drive to the Black Isle, the packs work out at around £3.07 each so, as long as I can buy food for meals for less than that(!), I'll be saving money... Hope I can manage it. If not, then I'll just have to give up on LL and move over to another weight loss programme, or continue on my own.

Mixed feelings. Very mixed feelings. Hoping beyond hope that this won't jeopardise my whole weight loss. And also looking forward to having real food again - legitimately! - and to working on the issues around trigger foods and overeating in general. It's a minefield... Given that I've been struggling to keep to the food packs only for the past 12 weeks or so, perhaps this is the best idea and I'll find it all a bit easier if I'm actually allowed some real food. Strong cheddar has been my downfall recently - surprising, really, as I have a very sweet tooth.

On the plus side, I've lost 3lbs this week, which is very encouraging as I still had several days when I struggled not to eat real food... Phew! I just hope the weight loss continues. It might slow right down for a while and then hopefully pick up again if I return to a few packs a day in the longer term. I do still have 4 - 4.5 stone to lose... and £2000 to raise!

Selling clothes on eBay

In case any of you know anyone between the sizes of 22 and 30 who would like to buy some clothes!
http://tinyurl.com/nlak52
I've sold 6 items already. :-)

1/2 lb lost...!

I'm thankful I've lost anything at all, frankly. I've had a very difficult week, food wise; that is, the food has been going into my mouth with little difficulty. In many ways (I think I've said this before) it might be better if I did put on weight, that might stop me messing about with eating. Clearly I need to reflect on what it is I'm doing and try to use the tools that Lighter Life provides us with more.

I thought I'd include a flattering photo which makes me look so much slimmer (if you ignore the bingo wings!!), taken at Lindsey's party last Saturday, 4 July 2009:
I'm chastened, embarrassed, grateful, sheepish, touched to say that my most recent plea resulted in a total of £190 more towards the LL costs. THANK YOU EVERYONE! This means I can continue for several more weeks anyway and I'll see what I can bring in by selling my old clothes on eBay, before making a final decision about what to do. In the meantime I'll endeavour to get the urge to eat under control... *sigh*

6 lbs lost!!

Clearly this is mainly water - and that last week's weight gain was mainly water. But it's still very encouraging. My own scales show just under 16 stone - I've not been 15 stone something since the 1980s!

I spoke to our locum counsellor tonight about my lack of funds and when she said, only slightly tongue in cheek, "I take it you've sold everything you can to raise money?", it suddenly dawned on me that I have a huge pile of large clothes that could be sold on eBay. I'll scout around and see what I've got in the house that could be sold and look out for car boot sales too.

I don't think it's realistic for me to do any more work, given my current energy levels and commitments, and the kind of work I can do without standing on my feet all day isn't that easy to find round here. I'm barely making ends meet as it is, so anything extra would simply make life a little bit easier. I'd need to earn a bit more of a substantial amount to pay for LL too... but I will try and see how I can raise some more funds to pay for it. (I've already added adverts to the blog in an attempt to earn something!)

And, in answer to my email, I've already received a very generous £135 to help me with the Lighter Life Development costs!!! A huge thank you to all of you who donated -
THANK YOU!!

I've done it...

...I've emailed my Lighter Life mailing list and asked for contributions to help me stay on the programme. Eek...

I simply can't afford to continue with Lighter Life, the pot has run dry. I can continue to pay my £40/week contribution, but I still need another £40/week to pay for it. The minimum I can do is move over to Road to Management now, where I'd start to introduce real food over a period of 14 weeks. My mailing list is around 160 strong. £560/160=£3.50. If 50% of the mailing list was to donate £10, I'd have a few more weeks on Development (the continuing weight loss part) and could then move over to Management. I really feel I need something very structured to help me get back onto real food, as my recent blips have shown me I need the support!

I really am scunnered about how things have gone. I had expected to be earning more by now and to be able to pay for it myself, but 'twas not to be...

I'll continue with LL as long as the donations allow, and will then make a decision on how to continue to lose weight. I don't want to stop now! I can't anyway, as my fundraising depends on me continuing...

So, if you feel inclined to help me continue on what's been a very successful weight loss programme that suits me and to raise funds for my three charities, please click here to make a donation. Thank you!

Interestingly...

...I lost that 1.5 lbs within 24 hours. On top of that, according to my scales, by yesterday (Monday) morning I'd lost 6 lbs! The fact that the blip last week consisted mainly of carbohydrates, which hold onto water, would explain the weight gain, and the subsequent weight loss when I was back into ketosis again. So I'm very encouraged that my weight loss this week will be generous. :-)